Life doesn’t go as planned

Do you ever feel like your life is going no where? Like you are just going in circles? Like you don’t know what the future holds or what it is you even want to do in life? Yeah, me too. Most of the time I feel this way, but lucky for me I have an amazing support system. I am surrounded by friends and family who love me unconditionally and want me to succeed.

When I was a senior in high school I had big dreams. I was going to go to Missouri State University and get my teaching degree. I had everything planned and I was determined. Well I graduated high school and my best friend and I made the journey to Springfield Missouri. We went to lunch and dinner together every chance we got. We made great friends on my floor and all went out every weekend together. Life was good. At least I made it seem that way. I was always missing class and drinking way too much. After a semester at MSU I got a letter in the mail just a few days before Christmas. I had been put on academic suspension and had to move out by the beginning of semester. My world had been flipped upside down… What was I going to do. How could I tell my parents that I had flunked out of college. Moving out of the dorms was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. That was the start to my 2015. You think that’s bad? Just wait, my bad luck continues with no one at fault but me.

I was lost. I felt alone. I felt as if I didn’t have a purpose. I was going no where in life and was doing nothing to make it better. I felt no hope. As a result I began to drink and resorted to self harm. On the outside I looked like I was happy like I was having a grand ol time and living life to the fullest. When I was alone I would cry and cut. I met a boy and fell in love. He broke every part of me. I got into a car accident. I got into many fights with my family which almost broke our relationship. I told them about my tattoo, my MIP. I had two warrants out for my arrest for unpaid speeding tickets. They found my stash of booze and packed up all of my stuff. November of that year things got better. I realized that this wasn’t a life I should be living. I got offer a full time management position at my job. I got baptized with my family. December of 2015 was showing me that maybe things could change and get better. Things were going great. 2016 was going to be a great year. It was.

In Feb of 2016,  I met my best friend, we drank a lot but it was fun and we were young. I decided to go back to school, I fixed my relationship with my parents. I didn’t get a single speeding ticket. I had a boyfriend for a while, then another one haha. I met another person who has become very important in my life and someone I call a dear friend. I had a lifelong dream come true of seeing the Dixie Chicks in concert. I finally went to my first ever NHL game.

I realized that I had a purpose. I knew what I wanted to do with my life and dammit I was going to do it. I was going to prove everyone wrong that doubted me. To the man who told me I’d never get a broadcasting career if I didn’t get a boob job, I am more motivated than ever to show you that I can. I am going to use my smarts to get my dream job. To that rejection letter I have hanging on my wall, I will get there and I will show you that no matter how long it takes I will do what it is I want to do with my life. No one can tell me any different.

Just remember, you may feel stuck and like you are going no where, like you don’t have a purpose. Everyone has a purpose, your purpose is to be you and to show the world your talents. You are amazing and can over come any odds against you. Surround yourself with people who care and people who lift you up. Don’t settle. Love yourself and make the decisions you want. Just remember that sometimes those have some serious consequences. And of course follow your dreams regardless of what people tell you.

I am going to be a sports broadcast journalist. You will be seeing me on TV. My friend from elementary school is in NYC following his dream of being on stage, dancing and singing his heart out. My best friend got the internship she wanted this summer working for a Missouri State Park as an interpreter.

You can do anything you set your mind to. Just believe in you. Because you owe it to yourself.

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